A busy month… or so [evidenced by letting my self-imposed June blog post deadline slide] and at times harried headspace has had me contemplating how much is enough… amidst short winter days, abetted by commonplace accoutrements of day-to-day life, revolving household routines, diary full of reminders and moveable post-its, and to do list that functions akin to a never-ending pack of Tim Tams… cross off a task and another appears in its place.
Midweek, as I stepped away from it all and into Dark Arts Café for the monthly carer group social coffee catch-up I’ve recently begun attending, an opportune message was waiting for me.
i.e. You Are Enough.
A chalkboard counter to niggling judgments dogging my peace of mind.
Am I doing enough? Am I doing enough for others? Am I doing enough for family? Am I doing enough for friends? Am I doing enough for community? Am I doing enough for the planet? Am I doing enough for myself? Is the life we’ve planned enough? Is the life we’ve created enough? Am I aware enough? Am I there enough? Am I fair enough? Do I share enough? Do I care enough?
Comfort in understanding more may be possible but enough is apposite; ringfenced by well-intentioned boundaries in theory if not always practicable in practice.
“If you live your life to please everyone else, you will continue to feel frustrated and powerless. This is because what others want may not be good for you. You are not being mean when you say NO to unreasonable demands or when you express your ideas, feelings, and opinions, even if they differ from those of others.”
―Beverly Engel, The Nice Girl Syndrome
A look through my camera roll reminds me what enough looks like.
Even if it doesn’t go as far as the City of Hope at Coffs Harbour, doing what you can to live resiliently is enough.
With the beautiful Nambucca Valley as our backyard, loving living locally is enough.
When further afield isn’t feasible, a short trip to Tea Gardens/Hawks Nest to share a mid-winter getaway, a favourite holiday spot, and food with family is enough.
When your hands are a bit arthriticky, simple home grown made small batch food is enough.
When your back is a bit dodgy, simple small scale gardening is enough.
“The longer I live, the more I read, the more patiently I think, and the more anxiously I inquire, the less I seem to know…Do justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly. This is enough.”
―John Adams, The Letters of John and Abigail Adams
daleleelife101.blog 
Oh gosh, your post has made me cry. Yes you are doing more than enough. Life is just hard, be gentle on yourself.
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Thank you for feeling it and the understanding words… my life is good… I’d just like better for our greater world. Sometimes being me doesn’t seem enough.
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“You have enough. You do enough. You are enough. Relax.”
You demonstrate your enoughness by virtue of your doubt. You are not complacent, or greedy, or irresponsible, or careless. You are the antithesis of these things. Therefore, you are enough.
Oh, and we’re giving it one more try: 1st to 8th February, NH – and Chippy will be there too. Please pencil Saturday 4th February for an evening out in Bello.
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Yes relax, I know and I try. But you nailed it… I can’t relax in a messy house, and I’m having a hard time relaxing about our messy world. Thank you for the kind words ♡
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You’ve never been complacent. Enough /is/ enough. -hugs-
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Thank you… I needed to write it out to give myself a bit of perspective and I appreciate any other that comes me way. I think from time-to-time it’s something most of us grapple with.
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You are most definitely not on your own Dale! My philosophy on life is to be the best person I am capable of being but…I’ve learned that I have to accept that there are caveats that go with that. No one can live up to impossible standards. Doing the best you can has to be enough.
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What a beautiful post, I often feel the same way . I have a difficult time relaxing if I see any work that needs to be done.
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Thank you. Absolutely… the only way I manage is to park it in a to-do list to buy some time!
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I like what Kate says, ‘you demonstrate your enoughness by virtue of your doubt’. Your thoughts are very relatable but nonetheless disturbing for us. Oddly, I never used to think of Life as being ‘hard’ until someone pointed it out to me. And now I can’t un-see it. And also it seems to get harder with each passing year. Maybe it has always been thus. I was nearly going to end my blog these last months. I didn’t want o whinge about things but struggled to find anything useful to say. Not wanting to add to the burden of others without offering a little hope as well I thought perhaps I had nothing left to say. But I see now, that if we can boost each other a little, it is very worthwhile. Best to you.xx
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The kernel of inspiration for the post came a week or so ago when my friend-neighbour-local farmer-resilient communities co-facilitator and I were driving home after the latest resilient communities network meeting convened by our local Council via a two year grant from NSW Government that is coming to an end just as the community is picking itself up and actually able to accomplish proactive rather than reactive resilience. Council were asking for another of the stakeholders to take it on. Our discussion was around how we balance all the parts of our lives and decide what is enough. And the rest came because I couldn’t find the time to write the post! Life does feel harder. Time seems to be passing quicker. I have found there is concensus among all ages and circumstances in this. I think part of radical hope is acknowledging difficulties and challenges, sharing our worries, finding common ground… and getting on with it together. Thank you for your comment both on this post, and to my reply to yours. You always help me to make sense of things ♡
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All of us who follow your blog and care about you know that you do enough, for others, your community and the planet.
Do you ever listen to ‘Conversations with Richard Filder’ on the ABC? (easy on the Listen app).I have listened to the beginning of his chat with Gordon Parker, the founder of the Black Dog Institute (and will finish it soon). Parker is speaking about burnout. I mention this, because the other side of your question “Am I doing enough?” is the danger of burnout. If we get to the point where we are exhausted and unable to care any more, we are no good to anyone, least of all ourself. Saying ‘yes’ to someone means saying ‘no’ to someone else ~ and that someone else is likely to be ourself. It seems to me that you have reached a good place. Maybe there is more that can be done, but it seems that you are weighing it against what is right for you at each moment. ~hugs~
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Thank you Anne for your thoughtful comment. I often listen to Conversations… always such interesting people/topics. You’re right about burnout… enough is a fine balance to manage, and is one of the reasons I became involved in community resilience, to not feel like I need to do it all myself but to hold space with others to figure out what is important to them to do. I try to apply my anti-clutter new in-old out formula to what I take on as well.
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Thank you for pointing me to the Carer web page. I found the Victorian one to be useful and interesting. There are lots of resources and I have signed up for an online wellness course.
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Thanks for letting me know. It’s important carers have access to these resources and important that we connect with them so the need for them is recognised.
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I often had the same questions about doing enough, preparing enough, helping enough, being ready enough… and then 2022 happened (spending the first 3 months of the year helping my mother with hospice care and then Forrest’s accident in April), and I simply moved forward with what needed to be done. It felt right, it was positive, and it was good. We live very simply these days, and I find myself grateful – for what I had to let go of and give up. We live with less, and our daily goals have shifted. Having a change of life leaves little else to think about but the bare bones of what is needed. Often we find, life opens up even wider with richness when we realize we are “enough”. You live a bountiful and full life… and it is good. Your photos exude contentment and happiness… and you are enough. 🙂
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Thank you for finding time to comment, I read your most recent post and I really appreciate the perspective and clarity of thinking you offer. You make a very good point, so very often when less is more it’s much easier to gauge what is enough. It is a good life but as you well know it sometimes doesn’t go to plan, so enough is sometimes about understanding how to triage what is most important.
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I am struggling with ‘enough’ too. Thank you for the uplifting blog. it has helped me realize that I am enough, and doing enough, although it is different to what I had planned.
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Thank you for this insightful comment. I feel better knowing it’s not only me that struggles with the balance of enough and when things don’t go as I planned.
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I see busy-as in your post – some of it “in house” and just right – some of it possibly too much, Maybe consider having a “lazy day” regularly because “yes you’ve doing enough” ….
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A lazy day sounds wonderful!
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What a huge collection of images! I love the beach ones the most . I think k we can settle for enough but that niggling ambition to do a little more and do it better is the one that gets me out of bed in the morning. ( except right now as I have been reading your lovely worlds IN bed!).
Have a good one!
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Celi, your comment made it through the gremlins. And it is on point! I almost always read blogs in bed. It is the best. Then get up and go about my day doing enough, and sometimes just for the fun of it, a little more than enough to keep life interesting.
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