Better together

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For our honeymoon we enjoyed the gift to ourselves of quiet days. Content with our own company and simple pleasures we spent time walking, sitting by the fire or in the sun… and fitting a new handlebar to the motorcycle.

The traditional third glitch was suspected at the official signing but confirmed days later as we learned the misspelling of a name on the Certificate of Marriage is of much lesser importance than a beautiful moment.

Later in the week bearing offerings of wedding cake we made visits to parents, children & grandchildren to joyfully announce our elopement and private nuptials, and telephone calls to my sisters.

For a level playing field announcement to our wider circle we mailed postcards featuring our favourite beach wedding snapshot and the happy news to our Christmas card list of family and friends. And of course, later a Facebook update and pic.

Interestingly, amongst the congratulatory responses there were a couple of expressions of the shocked surprise kind. Regarding our unmarried status, we’d said more times than I think we realised “we’re happy as we are”, and our own sentiments were reflected at us.

It made us realise we two people simultaneously sensibly aware & needlessly afraid of our marital histories repeating, discounting the power of long-term friendship and love, had almost convinced ourselves (and others) that “happy as we are” was all we were worthy of.

What an opportunity for enrichment we would have lost had we not pursued the conversation that stemmed from the arguing-disagreeing semantics on the topic of nuptial how-to. From the moment we decided we could and would get married, a barely perceptible veil of armour dissolved. As if gaining permission, we became even more kind, gentler and appreciative in our expanded capacity for happiness.

The talented Stefano from Arte Oro Jewellery transformed our may-as-well-be rings into wedding rings.
The talented Stefano from Arte Oro Jewellery transformed our may-as-well-be rings into wedding rings.

Let these be your desires
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
Kahlil Gibran

 

* Better Together, Jack Johnson youtube 

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27 thoughts on “Better together

    roughseasinthemed said:
    September 13, 2014 at 6:27 am

    Love your watch. Similar is style and design to my mothers, which I need to get mended.

    Do you want another coincidence? There was a name spelling error on our wedding cert too…

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 13, 2014 at 6:36 am

      And another… it was my mother’s watch 🙂
      Too funny about the coincidence of the wedding certificates. When we announced the news, my MIL wanted to see ours as evidence, thankfully we weren’t carrying it around with us, or she would have pounced on that detail. Without our glasses on the G.O. thought it was wrong but the moment passed in a flurry of photo taking etc. We didn’t actually look at the certificate until we got back to Sydney.
      The celebrant wasn’t the sharpest tool into the shed, it’s also been a week of sorting out the details he provided to Births, Deaths & Marriages to get it officially registered…

      Like

        roughseasinthemed said:
        September 13, 2014 at 6:56 am

        I wondered if it was because of similarity in style. Prob a pic of mine on everypic. Not sure.

        I picked out the error on ours as I was signing. Celebrant looked slightly annoyed with Ms Picky.

        When we got home, Partner was winding my dad up about the dodgy wedding certificates you could buy in Aus 😀 I don’t think they ever did get to see ours. There was a pretty one and a formal one (with incorrect spelling). Came in very useful here in Gib though where you need to produce one for various state business eg residency, tax allowances etc.

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          EllaDee responded:
          September 13, 2014 at 7:04 am

          I had to send the wrong certificate back before the celebrant would issue another, apparently there is a market for dodgy wedding certificates in Aus!
          As I’m not officially changing my name and unofficially not fussy about which surname people refer to me by, the official certificate will come in handy I think.

          Like

    ardysez said:
    September 13, 2014 at 7:02 am

    So happy for you settling into your new status so well. When we were first together we were not going to get married either, as I had never been to Australia. But we quickly decided married was the way to go, that we were not marrying the place, but each other. If Australia didn’t work, we would find a place together that did. So you two have found your place together too, sitting in the sun and replacing motorcycle handlebars! xxx

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 13, 2014 at 7:22 am

      Thank you. I think your words sum up successful marriage 🙂 It’s been a subtle shift but also the security of “officialising” the relationship appealed to us both. The handlebar exercise marked our first cooperative effort as a married couple. Happily it was executed calmly & successfully.

      Like

    davidprosser said:
    September 13, 2014 at 7:47 am

    All this to avoid sending me a piece of wedding cake.
    I’m glad you decided to do it and that you did it in your own time. You’ll settle into each other nicely.
    Kahlil Gibran’s words are wonderful.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 13, 2014 at 8:09 am

      That’s the last wedding post from me, so temptation should dissipate but if you visit to Sydney, there’s a piece of wedding cake saved in the freezer 🙂 We’re glad too and have enjoyed all the well wishes that have come our way.

      Like

    acflory said:
    September 13, 2014 at 7:53 am

    I think you’ve shown exactly how and why two people should get married – not because everyone’s doing it, not because it’s expected and certainly not because you’re scared of being alone, but because it’s the final, ultimate commitment. I wish you a lifetime of friendship and love. -hugs-

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 13, 2014 at 8:12 am

      Thank you 🙂 None of those reasons apply thankfully, it just took the right time & place plus pragmatically, currently, marriage confers somewhat legal status not available to couples otherwise.

      Like

        acflory said:
        September 13, 2014 at 1:14 pm

        Yeah, there is that as well. I hope it confers all that to you and the G.O., and much more 🙂

        Like

    Francesca said:
    September 13, 2014 at 8:18 am

    I love the idea of grandparents eloping. Congratulations and mat your relationship grow more each day.

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 13, 2014 at 8:52 am

      Thank you. By eloping it made it truly our day. It became apparent upon announcing the happy news that even had it appealed a small wedding would have been impossible, so in hindsight eloping was a far better option. It’s easy to forget a wedding day is about the bride & groom if the Event takes over.

      Liked by 1 person

    anne54 said:
    September 13, 2014 at 8:23 am

    Lovely! Lovely! Lovely! All good wishes to you. Xoxox

    I found it interesting that you are not changing your name. Last year I went to three weddings. All three couples were at different stages of their lives — a young couple, a fourtyish couple and a couple in their early 60s — and all three women changed their names. I was surprised at that, and wondered if it was a current trend.

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 13, 2014 at 9:01 am

      Thank you. I have changed my name twice! in the past. The second time I didn’t want to but even hyphenating it was just too complicated. This time I am who I am, Ms, Mrs or otherwise and I’ll answer to most things 🙂 My friends & acquaintances vary as far as name changes – some have, others not. Some use both. One changed and now wishes she didn’t. I recently read of instances where the groom is taking the bride’s name, I humorously ran it by the G.O. He passed, of course, his name fits him, as mine does me but I’m also happy to be Mrs.

      Like

    cecilia said:
    September 13, 2014 at 11:14 am

    just wonderful.. absolutely wonderful.. you are a wonderful girl.. c

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 13, 2014 at 12:24 pm

      Thank you. I’ve enjoyed sharing our day, and it’s lovely to receive so many kind messages 🙂

      Like

    Gerlinde said:
    September 13, 2014 at 11:42 am

    Getting married is between two people and you tied the knot the way it felt right to you in a setting you two chose. Congratulation , have a wonderful life .
    The poem is beautiful . 💐💐

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 13, 2014 at 12:27 pm

      Thank you. Walking the beach is one of our favourite things to do, so we were pleased to find we could have it as our wedding location. I enjoy KG’s words, he is wise without being overly sentimental.

      Like

    diannegray said:
    September 14, 2014 at 2:14 pm

    It’s absolutely wonderful to elope and if I had my time over again I would have done it. The pic of your hands is beautiful and I love the watch. Congratulations again. The words of Kahlil Gibran are perfect xxxx

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 14, 2014 at 6:02 pm

      Thank you 🙂 Quite a few people we know have said similarly… big weddings can be quite overwhelming. For us it was a good choice – we really enjoyed our day and gave it our own special touches – as well as Mum’s watch I wore my grandmother’s brooch, and my wedding ring is made from their wedding rings.

      Like

    philosophermouseofthehedge said:
    September 18, 2014 at 7:25 am

    A bright spot in a chaotic world. Lovely. How nice your “heritage” jewelry is part of it all. Somehow that seems so right.

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 18, 2014 at 10:10 am

      Thank you 🙂 Heartfelt well wishes and happy news is always welcome.

      Like

    safia said:
    September 18, 2014 at 6:42 pm

    This says it all: ‘we became even more kind, gentler and appreciative in our expanded capacity for happiness.’ A truly beautiful post, Ella. Well done – and I see you included Gibran on love … sigh…. 🙂

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 19, 2014 at 6:17 am

      Thank you 🙂 Happy as we were we didn’t think marriage would make much difference but it was a pleasant surprise that it did. We chose KG because his words are gentle and meaningful but not over the top.

      Like

    Kourtney Heintz said:
    September 19, 2014 at 5:48 am

    Aw so glad you are sharing your news with friends. I love the postcard idea. I think sometimes when you aren’t in on the conversation that changes everything, the change is very surprising. But for the people involved in it, it felt like a natural progression. 🙂

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 19, 2014 at 6:23 am

      Thank you. I understand the surprise, we were a little that ourselves when we were first decided to get married, it’s the couple of shocked responses that have been amusing! We’ve had some lovely heartfelt responses & good wishes and realized if we’d had a traditional wedding we would have had to invite everybody… nooooo 😉

      Like

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