toil and trouble

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Not much older and only a little wiser after the demise of marriage #1, I embarked optimistically on marriage #2. Two of the players stayed on for the second act, Baddy and Jack, my cats. The cast welcomed Bo, an Australian Cattle Dog, who adored them both.

I met the man who would become Husband #2 for the first time a fortnight or so after I started a new job as Office Manager for the state branch of a hire company for mining and construction heavy equipment. He was the Branch Manager, somewhat elusive until that point. He’d been absent during my negotiations with Head Office and initially his existence substantiated only by a few phone calls from locations unknown, deferring his return.

Arriving at the yard early one morning I was curious to see a strange vehicle parked out front. The wanderer had materialised, and invited me to have a seat in his office. As I sat myself in the chair opposite his desk, I experienced a tangible but inexplicable sensation of cogs shifting then setting into a new alignment. We had a lengthy get-to-know-you discussion about the company, his role, my role, our backgrounds… and the way in which we most feared dying. This was something up until that point I’d not considered but the words by burning spontaneously but surely uttered from my mouth.

Several years later I read an article about a woman in Tasmania who did past life readings from photographs. I sent her a photo of Husband #2 and myself. She sent me a letter back describing a previous life connecting the two of us, in Cornwall where I’d been a healer in a small village neighbouring a larger settlement. Husband #2 had been a member of a church community who objected to my practices, and was responsible for me being burned as a witch.

On the home front Husband #2 was capable and willing to do his share of domestic duties but suffered from a curious paralysis in the presence of his mother, which led to him being dubbed “The Little Prince”, as she fetched and did for him.

When we moved to the city coming into winter, our apartment was chilly and had a share laundry so family members lent us a column heater which was utilised for both heating and clothes drying. Having witnessed layers of towels drying on it, Husband #2 employed the same tactic with damp jeans. I didn’t pay any attention until summoned by desperate screams, and found him frantically trying to undress his bottom half, the skin of which the metal studs on the jeans he’d donned straight off the heater had welded themselves to. I was unable to offer assistance from my vantage point on the floor where I’d collapsed with laughter.

Husband #2 was also willing to try his hand at household repairs. The tap over the kitchen sink of our rented house developed a drip which became a stream. As was his due, he did the Man of The House thing, examined the issue and attempted to turn the tap off to no avail. No problem, I said, I’ll phone the real estate agent. It took me 10 minutes to make the call. I returned to the kitchen to find Husband #2 with big wrench in hand. I shouted don’t touch that tap. Too late. The wrench was turned, severing the spout from the wall. The water which now had nothing to hold it back, jetted across the room. The only solution was to turn the water off at the mains which meant we had no water in the house until the next afternoon when the plumber arrived. His first words were to Husband #2, had a go at it yourself did you?

Husband #2 and I celebrated New Years Eve shortly after we were married by hosting a small house party of family, friends and neighbours. The evening went well until after the midnight hour struck, kisses and well wishes were exchanged and it was time to retire. Husband #2 vehemently wanted to continue celebrating, so we left him to it. I was awoken around dawn by my Godson banging saucepans in the kitchen, and went to investigate as I couldn’t hear any other movement. By the time I got to the kitchen I met other house guests, and we discovered Husband #2 wedged into the settee in the alcove, wrapped in the sticky tablecloth from the night before. As we contemplated the sight, Husband #2 opened his eyes, sternly wagged an index finger and admonished us, I hope you’ve learned your lesson. Which is something I’m not sure he ever did.

There is of course a lot more to the fourteen years I spent with Husband #2 than encapsulated by anecdotes. It pains me to reflect on how naive I was, but you live and you learn… once you take your head out of your arse and pay attention to what’s really going on. The werewolf dreams were clear communication as to Husband #2’s duality, which I’d conveniently been in denial of until that became impossible, and evidence the envoys of the Universe had my back, even if I was a little slow on the uptake.

And possibly, things play out for a reason. Husband #2 shortly after we moved to the city, introduced me to a man he’d become acquainted with while working interstate several years prior, and who he’d recently met again through work. That person would sixteen years later become for me the Gorgeous One.

toil and troubleAct 2 was exhausting. Intermission was a relief.

Single once again, I opted to live solo, up until the G.O. came back into my life.

Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
Macbeth, William Shakespeare

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34 thoughts on “toil and trouble

    dadirri7 said:
    September 23, 2013 at 7:31 pm

    how interesting that #2burnt himself …. just a little karma there!! It seems you needed that step to continue your path through this life … and now we know you have met the G.O. … we can wonder how things developed along the way 🙂

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 24, 2013 at 6:02 am

      Oh, that’s true, and #2 was also suspicious of natural remedies…
      The G.O. and I each had much stuff to work through before the Universe opened that door 🙂

      Like

    Glenda said:
    September 23, 2013 at 7:50 pm

    You are like Liz 😀 Lucky you got it right at number 3!!

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 24, 2013 at 6:05 am

      And you know, I never did really want to marry, but didn’t go with the power of my convictions. So third time happily unmarried for us both, and it suits us. I cannot imagine continuing a la Liz.

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        Glenda said:
        September 24, 2013 at 10:24 am

        Hi Ella, Married or unmarried its irrelevant. It is what is in the hear that matters and it sounds like the heart is happy now!!

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          EllaDee responded:
          September 24, 2013 at 2:37 pm

          Thank you Glenda. A happy heart beats everything 🙂

          Like

    davidprosser said:
    September 23, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    Third time lucky they say. I think we all start married life a little naive. How things go depends on how quickly the naivety is wiped out and reality sets in. Some realities are nice as I know this one is for you. Long may it last.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 24, 2013 at 6:08 am

      Thank you. I came to the conclusion that I never had any sense until in my 30’s, and I was stubborn. Bad combination. But, I also believe we are on this earth to do and learn, and I certainly have accomplished that.
      😀

      Like

    ardysez said:
    September 23, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    I agree with David, we are all naive when we enter into married life. You are very brave to share the stories of your getting of wisdom. I think sharing our stories helps all of us feel a bit better about our own lives and less judgmental of others. X

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 24, 2013 at 6:13 am

      Thank you 🙂 I love people’s stories and journeys, and often learn something about life or myself from reading them, so if there are some who are happy to read mine, then it’s nice to be part of that. And, it seems like the right time for me to share them, they have just flowed after being put away into the recesses of my mind.

      Like

    acflory said:
    September 23, 2013 at 10:22 pm

    You write beautifully Ella. 🙂 Had me laughing so many times I can’t tell you. If you feel up to it at some point I’d love to know more about the werewolf thing???
    Anyway, you’re far braver than me. I didn’t marry until I was 32, but although it took us 17 years to get a divorce, the marriage was well and truly over after 15. So I agree with Dadirri7, sometimes there are just things we have to work through, at every age.

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 24, 2013 at 6:17 am

      Thank you. The stories have their own life it seems, and they want out into the world 🙂
      If you click on the werewolf link, it will take you to the short story I wrote about it, which is essentially what happened – dreams have always been my compass but I underrated the significance of the werewolf dreams, as they were unlike anything I’d ever experienced… and I was deep in denial.
      That’s life, we’re here to work through stuff, it’s like school, there are lessons. And holidays too.

      Like

        acflory said:
        September 24, 2013 at 9:49 am

        I’ll be honest, I just don’t know how much of this dream interpretation I believe. I think I teeter on the fence somewhere, believing that dreams express the fears we don’t even know we have in the waking world. Yet whether this is simply the subconscious putting 2 + 3 together and still getting 4 I don’t know.

        It clearly happened to you, and it did happen to me too so… -shrug-

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          EllaDee responded:
          September 24, 2013 at 2:35 pm

          I believe you are correct with both those ideas, but I think also we connect with the Universe or vice versa through our dreams, to sort out our thoughts and also when there are messages to be delivered to guide us 🙂

          Like

          acflory said:
          September 24, 2013 at 8:20 pm

          lol – the skeptic in me says no, but the truth is there are no facts either way so I might sit on the fence for this one. 🙂

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          EllaDee responded:
          September 25, 2013 at 9:35 am

          At least figuratively you won’t get a sore butt 😉

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          acflory said:
          September 25, 2013 at 10:13 am

          lmao – lucky I’m well padded. 😉

          Like

    Vicky said:
    September 24, 2013 at 7:04 am

    A great read 🙂
    It sound like husband #2 was the stepping stone to what was meant to be 🙂 How else would you have met the GO.
    This really verifies my thoughts that our lives are mapped out for us well before we live them.

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 24, 2013 at 2:29 pm

      Thank you. I often wondered that myself, would the G.O. and I have crossed paths anyway. There were other certain times we had been in the vicinity of each other but never met.
      My thoughts are that we come to our human lives with a basic lesson plan, and tools and resources to undertake them, but there are electives and pathways as well 🙂

      Like

    safia said:
    September 24, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    Great post – I think I’ll be sticking with my number 3 too! Two divorces before the age of 45 can raise a few eyebrows at times, but as your post shows, only time can buy the experiences that lead to better choices.

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 25, 2013 at 9:34 am

      I’m the poster girl for the Catherine Aird quotation “If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.” 😉

      Like

        safia said:
        September 25, 2013 at 3:02 pm

        Oh, never heard that one before – LOL. I’ve got a few people I want to share that with! 🙂

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          EllaDee responded:
          September 25, 2013 at 3:09 pm

          If I was ever going to have a tattoo or a headstone, neither of which are an option, that’s what they’d say 🙂

          Like

    Kourtney Heintz said:
    September 25, 2013 at 12:56 am

    A terrific read EllaDee! You picked such key moments to convey so much about #2. You need to gather these into a book. Great little vignettes. 🙂

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 25, 2013 at 9:39 am

      I’ve taken you suggestion on board, and as per my comment reply to Safia, I’ve come up with have a working title “If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning” 😉

      Like

    Pete Denton said:
    September 25, 2013 at 1:14 am

    All things for a reason. Sounds like you’ve had some interesting times before joining lives with the G.O. After reading this I feel good for changing two taps last week, now drip free 😀

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 25, 2013 at 9:42 am

      The G.O and I continue to have interesting times.. but in the interests of domestic harmony it wouldn’t be a good idea to spill the beans too much on him.
      Good on you for changing the taps successfully but on the downside you’ve deprived Mrs Denton of a story opportunity 😉

      Like

        Pete Denton said:
        September 25, 2013 at 6:57 pm

        I think my wife has enough story opportunities on me already 😀

        Like

    George Collingwood said:
    September 25, 2013 at 4:39 am

    I agree with you completely about the way dreams work to show us things that matter (or as you put it, to sort out our thoughts and deliver us messages and guidance).

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 25, 2013 at 9:46 am

      I’m terrible at cryptic crosswords but I love interpreting dream messages and intentions. Sometimes the message is straightforward and others a challenge. And I find it reassuring to know if I need it, the envoys of the Universe will get a message to me somehow, even if I’m a bit obtuse 🙂

      Like

    philosophermouseofthehedge said:
    September 25, 2013 at 8:36 am

    People are the sum of their experiences – and it seems we have lessons to learn before we learn how to be ourselves.
    You are one great storyteller!

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 25, 2013 at 9:50 am

      Thank you 🙂
      That is perfect – life is a process of learning how to be ourselves.
      My writing muses seem to have tired of holidaying and found some material they can work with 🙂

      Like

    mybrightlife said:
    September 29, 2013 at 6:21 pm

    Am so enjoying these insights into your life. As already stated, very brave. Perhaps being able to or wanting to share these parts of your journey are an indication of peace and deeper insight gained along the way, which often (I find) makes the ‘now’ so much better. But whatever, it has just been cool learning a bit more about you. Thanks!

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 29, 2013 at 6:23 pm

      Thank you. You’re so right, I have acquired a little peace and deeper insight, which assists me to navigate better the inevitable dramatic scenes, no matter how experienced or well-intentioned the players are 🙂

      Like

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