they have to take you in…

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Continuing the tradition of family hospitality, when the elder of my younger two sisters started work she moved from living at home in the country to my home on the coast. At the time she was vegan, we were all working & commuting, and so we ate a lot of vege rice. I remember Bo, our dog, considering sadly the usually coveted dinner leftovers in her bowl, and looking at me as if to say, not again.

All of us busy, it was a DIY household. My sister summoned me to deal with the sizeable huntsman spider in her bathroom. Not my bathroom. Not my problem. Deal with it, was my response. To her credit she did, compassionately, with a dustpan and brush.

When my sister decided to end a relationship with a guy she had dedicatedly pursued for quite some time, an afternoon of music and cooking was in order, and so we created Nirvana-Lasagne.

My sister is a good musician and terrible sleeper. I believe there is a correlation. Many early morning hours the dull sound of her electric guitar, unplugged, could be heard emanating riffs from the crack under the door to her room.

During the time of my sister’s residence, the cats – Baddy & Jack, and Bo benefited most from her company, as my then husband and I were both away a lot. The timing was great. The furry ones loved the extra attention, lap and set of opposable thumbs to open food and doors. The cats colonized her bed, even when we were home.

Bo benefited from my sister’s occasional absentmindedness. Away, I called one night, chatted for a while to my sister and was surprised to have her call me straight back. Bo, she wailed, ate my dinner. I waited. I just made creamed corn and soy cheese toast when you called, and put it down on the foot stool. I’m a horrible sister; all I could do was laugh. Bo, not one to miss a food opportunity, was apparently approving of that vegan delicacy if not the vege rice.

If the furry-ones adored her, my sister loved them equally. The three of them were getting on in years, and she nursed them all through ill health at various times when we weren’t around. But we were all together when we had to let first Jack, then a few months later Baddy, go. My sister and I were up together, and in turns, all night the night before Baddy left us.

It wasn’t long after my sister moved out to the city to share a house with friends that Bo made her not totally unexpected but sudden exit. It was awful news to break to my sister, and she was heartbroken that she hadn’t been there.

For years after she moved out, forgetting she had paid weekly board which we spent on hiring a cleaner to save all our sanities, my sister petitioned to pay every time we had breakfast, lunch, dinner or a coffee. I have to pay you back, were words that drove me crazy.

In time, our younger sister decided to spend a year living & working in the city, employed at the same firm as me, living with the other sister. It was then the elder of my younger two sisters was able to embrace the concept of pay it forward. She’s also the sister whose apartment the G.O. and I live in.

100_0129One of the great things about families is if you need somewhere to stay, they will find a bed for you… even if it is a fold-out couch in the living room, which is what we now currently have on offer in our two room city apartment. It’s surprising how many people take it up.

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” Robert Frost

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23 thoughts on “they have to take you in…

    xmamabear said:
    September 17, 2013 at 8:05 pm

    I never had a sister, but I had a cousin who, through unfortunate circumstances, needed a place to live until she was ‘legal’. She lived with our family and shared my room for a year. She was 17 and I was 13. It was so fun. There was never a cross word between us and we bonded closer than many sisters. We are sisters of choice, I guess one could say. Nice post Elladee!

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 18, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      Thank you 🙂 After being an only child for a few days shy of 17 years, it was great to be a sister, and to have sisters and a brother. Even though we are halves, we still share much nature & nurture commonality, as I imagine you and your cousin-big sister do also.

      Like

    anne54 said:
    September 17, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    Ohhh, sisters, they are very special.

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 18, 2013 at 3:10 pm

      They are 🙂 I had to wait a while to take delivery of mine but it was worth it.

      Like

    Celia @ Fig Jam and Lime Cordial said:
    September 17, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    ED, what a lovely story. You have such a great family! x

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 18, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Thank you 🙂 My family are much like the nursery rhyme little girl who had a little curl, ie when they are good, they’re very very good… that’s my sisters & brother, but sometimes the rest of them…

      Like

    sorrygnat said:
    September 18, 2013 at 8:38 am

    wonderful!

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 18, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Thank you. Very kind of you to say 🙂

      Like

    metan said:
    September 18, 2013 at 10:36 am

    I love the idea of using her board to hire a cleaner. Definitely a sanity saving option! 😀

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 18, 2013 at 3:16 pm

      I think the cleaners (we had a few, including one who spent a lot of timing polishing furniture but not cleaning much else) had a easy job of it but with everyone coming and going, it made life a lot easier 🙂

      Like

        metan said:
        September 18, 2013 at 4:51 pm

        I guess it also meant that no one had any resentment about others not pulling their weight, and if things weren’t done properly you could all be annoyed without hurting anyone’s feelings. 😀

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          EllaDee responded:
          September 18, 2013 at 5:51 pm

          True, and I’d do it again if circumstances warranted. Some days I miss being able to leave the domestic goddess stuff for someone else.

          Like

    Glenda said:
    September 18, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    Lovely story.

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 18, 2013 at 3:17 pm

      Thank you 🙂 I’m glad you thought so.

      Like

    Lori D said:
    September 19, 2013 at 10:44 am

    How lovely that your family is there for each other.

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 19, 2013 at 11:03 am

      Thank you 🙂 I think the whole concept of pay it forward… onto a future person-need is far more sensible than paying back to someone who already had the means to assist.

      Like

    safia said:
    September 20, 2013 at 3:56 am

    I actually think slotting into re-living with a brother or sister is much easier than doing so with parents! Don’t know why, but it’s something I clarified on my last trip ‘home’. Lovely blog, Ella. I came here to find the 2nd of the short stories I missed and was delighted to read this first.

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      EllaDee responded:
      September 20, 2013 at 6:00 am

      Thank you. You do well, going for extended visits but for me, oh no, I could never live at home again with the parents… even later as an adult sharing a holiday apartment with them for a week scarred me… 😉

      Like

        safia said:
        September 20, 2013 at 1:53 pm

        Or re-opened old wounds perhaps … I know where you’re coming from on that!

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          EllaDee responded:
          September 20, 2013 at 3:28 pm

          I was age 39 & recently divorced and they on holiday with the best of intentions that were totally unnecessary – the awful-est experience of it was sitting in the back seat of the car, while we drove an hour and a half to visit old friends… I couldn’t reconcile it 😉

          Like

    Vicky said:
    September 21, 2013 at 9:17 am

    Being an only one I’ve never experienced that sibling affection, but looking at my two daughters I can see it is something special.

    Like

      EllaDee responded:
      September 21, 2013 at 2:55 pm

      I was an only until 3 days before my 17th birthday. Now I have 3 half siblings. I missed it growing up and although I lived in a small town with lots of friends, had close family and went to boarding school, it’s not the same. They are adults now as well, so it’s really nice. It’s a lottery. Some people cannot get on with their siblings at all.

      Like

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